When I went in to shower, the blinds were still closed, so I had no idea what the outside looked like, he was right, it was really nice out, and there were a handful of people already lounging around by the pool. I say, sure let’s go for it, who knows what the weather will be like tomorrow and we don’t have to check out till 11 anyways. Wait a minute! What are we going to wear? We don’t have our luggage! Oh well there goes that idea.
Now because of the delayed flight, our baggage was delayed as well, because of that, we weren’t able to go clubbing and now we’re not going to be able to enjoy the nice pool weather either? Someone @ Delta is going to get a very carefully worded letter of complaint!
So we both pack up our belongings, I brought my blue backpack with me, the one I always bring whenever I’m travelling, so I can fit my stuff in it no problem. However, Bryan brought a man purse along, so it can only fit so many items. So I had to carry his newly purchased “souvenirs” as well. Great. Now my bag blue backpack looks like an overstuffed Smartie! Oh well, @ least the stuff wasn’t heavy.
So we check out and begin to look for breakfast, that is when I notice that there is a food court in the upstairs section of Excalibur, so we decide to head on up there to see what we can find, since neither of us really want to waste time looking for another place to eat. After a quick lap around the food court, we both settle on breakfast @ McDonalds. I order the Sausage McMuffin combo, with a medium coffee and Bryan orders the Breakfast Burrito combo with a large coffee. Bryan picks up the tab on this one. After we’re done eating, I notice that the coffee is still piping hot, too hot to drink even. I mean it’s been like 15 minutes since they poured it and it’s still that hot? Impressive! Only because we were sitting down, If I was driving and trying to drink it, It would have been a different choice of words.
After we eat breakfast, we head back down to the lobby to find the Concierge (I still have no idea how the Concierge works, are we suppose to tip them after we ask them for help?), to inquire where and how to get to the gun store, she pulls out a brochure that they have and on it, it marks that it’s approximately 3.2 miles from the MGM. So we’re like, it’s a nice day, we’re young, shouldn’t be that hard of a walk. So we plan to walk it as oppose to cabbing it. We also planned to stop by once again for the Player’s Card @ The Tropicana & Hooter’s since they were closed the night before.
We get to the Tropicana and locate the player’s desk, I explain to Bryan how their ‘Slot Promo’ works, where you give them $20 they give you $50 in slot credits, only to be used one select machines, then if you don’t win, you get to choose a souvenir. He signs up for their players card, only to find out that the only sign-up bonus they’re offering right now is reimbursement on your slot losses. No instant slot credits? No buffet coupons? No match plays? Boring! On to Hooter’s we go then!
We get to Hooter’s, he signs up, and they give him his $100 slot credit, once again only able to play it on certain machines. I told him that when I signed up we got coupons, a pen, show tickets and $200 worth of slot credits and those credits lasted me a good 2 hours, and by the end of it, I was bored out of my mind from all the button mashing. He blew through his $100 in less than 2 minutes. FAIL! Once again, no food coupons? No match plays? No show tickets? Double Fail!
So we begin to make our way down Tropicana Ave and head towards the Gun Store. It’s only a 3.2 Mile walk, it’s a nice day out. We walk, we walk, we walk. Mind you @ this time we’re still carrying all of our stuff and wearing our Sweaters, but it’s still doable. We walk and walk and walk some more only to make it to the Thomas & Mack Centre. OMG. We’re only here? Although to tell you the truth we actually had no idea where ‘here’ is in relation to ‘there’ (the Gun Store). We see a waiver a little further up, and quickly hoof it up there double time to ask him how much further the gun store is? He tells us that it’s probably about another 3 miles. Another 3 miles? I could have sworn we just covered that distance. Okay, no more wasting time, let’s cross the street and flag down a taxi.
So flag down a cabbie and hop in, he tells us that we probably had another 5 miles. 5 Miles to go? The brochure lied! Thank goodness we decided to cab it instead! (After coming home from my trip, I googled the distance walked (1.2 miles) and the Gun Store was actually 3.2 miles out.) The cab ride seemed like a really long one though. I’m still not sure how The Gun Store is only 3.2 miles away from the MGM it seems double the length! I mean the cab back to the MGM cost us almost $10 bucks! Something’s off here, I just can’t seem to figure out what!
We walk into the store and clearly look like a couple of tourists who have never been there and don’t know what we’re doing, we stand around for a minute, absorbing it all in. OMFG! We’re gonna get to shoot real guns! Once it’s our turn to choose what we want, they have us sign in first, then tell them what packages we want to shoot. I opt to go with the Gun Store Package, which allows me to shoot a H/K MP5 SMG w/50 Rds, Semi- Automatic Rifle w/10 Rds, 12ga Shotgun w/5 Rds, and receive Three Targets, along with a T-Shirt. Bryan opts to go with the Coalition Package, which allowed him to shoot a M249 SAW w/40 Rds, M16 Rifle w/25 Rds, M9 Pistol w/20 Rds, and receive Three Targets, along with a T-Shirt as well. They hand us our ammo and ask us to pick our 3 targets from a wall of 20 targets.
We wait in an extremely long lineup; however the line up seems to be moving pretty quickly, oddly enough, considering how everyone seems to be crammed inside that little room. Finally, it’s our turn; march on up to the equipment rack, put safety goggles on and earmuffs. They lead us into the room, take our ammo, take our targets, one at a time of course, bring us a gun, load it for us, and show us how to shoot it, how to aim and off we go!
I thought that firing a gun for the very first time in my life would be a lot more exciting and that I would be a lot more nervous, but surprisingly, it wasn’t. The gun felt very comfortable in my hand, I wasn’t nervous to pull the trigger, I didn’t spray. I think I handled it like a pro….except for the fact that I missed most of my targets and then when I did hit the paper, I hit the wrong target. I shot the dog instead. At the end of it, the instructor was giving me grief for hitting the friendly dog. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I didn’t like German Shepherds.
Plus, the instructor was weird anyways. She found out that we were Canadian, so she asked us if we ate baby seals. Bryan tells her that we don’t have baby seals where we’re from, they’re more up North, so she goes, ‘oh I know’ ‘If you study enough Geometry, you know where things are’. AWKWARD!!! We could tell that those were jokes, but they weren’t funny, well not to us anyways, we couldn’t even muster out a fake laugh.
So before we leave we pick up our T-shirts that were included in the package. Note: We did not choose the same T-Shirt unlike the Walgreens incident. We went outside to try and hail a taxi, there was no way we were gonna make the same rookie mistake and walk it all the way back. We stood around for maybe 10 minutes for a taxi, we were told that this was a tourist hot spot and that there would always be cabs floating around, this was not the case!
We got off @ MGM and began working our way up the strip, since our luggage that day was being delivered to our next hotel, The Encore. We head on in, explore the MGM for a bit, make our way over to the Rainforest Café and the ‘pond’ area and where the washrooms are. I come out of the washroom first, so I go grab a seat by the fake crocodile sitting in the ‘river’. I notice that this middle aged man sits down as well, he looks left, looks right, rolls up his sleeve, checks his blindspots again and sticks his hand into the water to fish for change, grabs some of it, pulls his hand out of the water, lets it dry off for a bit, then stuffs the change into his pocket. Bryan comes out of the washroom so I vacate my spot and we head to the door, but not before I tell him to watch that man and see what he does. Surely enough, the man gets up, takes my seat and does the same thing again. So Bryan quickly snaps a candid photo of the man. I wonder what would happen if you get caught doing this.
After that incident and from all the laughing, we’re both feeling a bit parched. There is a souvenir shop right across from that exit, we head in, and we each grab a beer. We make our way over to the checkout counter, we say both beers are to be purchased together, she rings in one beer, asks for the money, we remind her that the beers are together she says okay, and still asks us for the same amount. Bryan was going to try again, but I’m standing next to him and I’m going ‘shh shh shh’ as in just let it slide, so after some hesitation he gives in and just hands her the money for one beer. My beer is a twist off, his cap needs to be pried off, we ask her if she can open it for us, she says no, but tells us that there is a bottle opener for sale by the door, and to just put it back when we’re done with it. What a lovely lady!
We head out and begin making our way up the strip. We do a quick entry and exit into the M&M store, only to discover that neither of us really has an interest in visiting that store. We head on over to the Tix4Tonight booth to see what they have. We walk in and this cute girl comes up to us trying to give us some info. I tell her that we’re looking for a good show (but so is everyone else who walks through that door. I don’t think anyone ever comes in and goes “You know what, I’m looking for a shitty show today, can you recommend one?” I think I’ll try that next time!) She immediately and enthusiastically recommends Crazy Horse over by the Riviera. She tells us that it’s a really good show, and that if her as a girl can appreciate and enjoy it, then us couple of guys are bound to enjoy it as well. I tell her that, the show is cool with me, but that Bryan plays for the other team and likes guys. She says its okay, here in Vegas we don’t judge (That’s true. We only ridicule you in our TR’s after we come back). So Bryan is trying to decide what to watch, and I’m making small talk with this cute Cuban girl, I don’t really remember what I was saying at that point, I already had maybe 3 sips of beer in me. Crazy, I know! He wasn’t able to decide on a show, so we just left empty handed once again.
We continue making our way up the strip, there’s a small magic show going on right outside the Harley Davidson Cafe, we watch for a couple of minutes, it’s not a good show, we’re bored so we move on. We both marvel @ Aria & The Crystals shopping Centre from the outside, snap a bunch of daytime photos, typical touristy stuff. Last time I went, it wasn’t completed yet.
From there we head on over to the Miracle Mile Shops, do a quick run through of that mall. Head on in to the Planet Hollywood Player’s Card area, read the sign, it informs us that there is only a $5 Slot credit being given away. That’s it? I know Vegas isn’t doing well, but skimping out on the slot credit is not the way to go! You need to give us more slot credit so that we can see how fun your machines are, so that we are willing to pump in more money into your machines! I tell him that $5 is nothing, it’s owned by Harrah’s now, we’ll be passing up a bunch of Harrah’s property on our way up to the Encore, we’ll check out the Player’s Cards from them and see if they have anything better.
Right now it’s 2PM and check-in is @ 3PM, and I’m getting tired from carrying all the stuff and all the walking, so I suggest that we just skip the going in and outs of the casinos and just make our way up the strip to check-in then we can make our way back down once we’re rested. Luckily, he agreed. I mean, we’re still enjoying the sights of Vegas, by just walking up the strip.
After what seems like eternity of walking, we finally make it the Encore for check-in. We utilize the ‘divide and conquer’ strategy. I line up at the front desk with the sea of other people waiting to check-in since it’s 3PM right now, while he goes looking for the bell hop to see if they have our bags. I pick the shortest looking line, and as you know, that does not always work out. Turns out the couple in front of us had so many questions, they kept asking for this and that, asking about this and that. Sheesh! The line-up to my left was already 2 persons ahead of me by the time I got to the desk. She must have heard me complaining to Bryan and saying that ‘we’re gonna time attack it and make this the fastest check-in possible’ ‘cause she turned around, flashed a million dollar smile and apologized for taking up so much of our time. I of course returned that smile with a million dollar smile of my own and said it was okay. No point in getting upset, they were almost done anyways.
We check-in, no $20 trick, ‘cause we’re already staying there in an upgraded comp, it’s the Encore, doubt $20 would have even been enough, or worked. Head up to the room, snap the mandatory bed, washroom, TV, and room pics. But none of this happens before we get to the room and Bryan frantically rips open his suitcase emptying out all of his contents looking for his little brown envelope. But nope, it was nowhere to be found!
We make dinner reservations for 7PM @ Envy Steakhouse, the plan was to use a restaurant.com coupon. It was probably around 3:30-4:00PM right now, I felt a little famished so I inquired if he would be up for a little snack. He said, he’s always up for food. So we headed on over to the Fashion Show Mall to the food court area and had ourselves some Mexican food. After that he utilized the ATM conveniently located in the mall to pull out some money. We figured that the ATM fees in the mall would be less than the hotel ones. Sure enough, this proved to be true!
Now that, that is all out of the way, first casino stop? The Venetian! We get in, make our way to the Player’s Card desk, inquire about their signup bonus, the lady tells us that there is no current promotion being given for new member signups, however they do have slot attendants who are walking around and randomly giving away vouchers for $25 slot credits, but you’d have to be real lucky to get one. Go figure, luck is required in Vegas! So then we ask her about the ‘refer a friend’ promo. The promo is pretty much what it sounds like, have an existing member bring a new member to sign up and you’ll both get $25 worth of slot credits. Perfect! We are just the kind of people you’re looking for!
We both sign up. I take Bryan over to a bank of Video Blackjack machines, hand him my ‘cheat sheet’ for Blackjack, set him up for $0.25 per hand and away he goes! So this is where he learns how to properly play Blackjack, he’s played before, but not with basic strategy. I think we were there for about half an hour before we used up the slot credits and not once did we see a cocktail waitress to order a drink. The place was pretty dead on a Sunday afternoon as well. Afternoon nap maybe?
We head on over to the Palazzo area, explore there, and then make our way back towards the Harrah’s properties checking out the various casinos around there. No Total Rewards card sign up here, the bonuses just weren’t happening! After exploring the various Harrah’s property and seeing them offer 6:5 blackjack, the excitement just wasn’t happening. So we both collectively agreed that the Venetian was the place to be. We get in find a $10/$15 table for blackjack, I buy in for $200, and he buys in for $100. I think he walked away with a small bit of profit or he just broke even. I on the other hand was down about $125 or so. So I said screw it, find me a different table, a $25 / hand table. I get to a table that is in the middle of a new shuffle, perfect, just what I like! The dealer’s name is David, he’s shuffling, there’s a lady sitting in the anchor spot, just waiting, and I guess it took him too long to shuffle, cause she got up in a huff and stormed away. I turn to David and go “I don’t think she likes you man” He replied with “I don’t give a damn!” This got us cracking, so much to the fact that I could have swore I saw a little smile from David himself. Anyways, as soon as he’s done shuffling, I plunk down and quickly turn whatever chips I had left on me at that time into a pure $200 profit. It didn’t take much to pull me away from the table with a quick $200 profit because we were already cutting it close to our dinner reservation for 7 and we were gonna head to Spearmint Rhino’s afterwards, so I wanted to be able to blow that $200 there and not have a worry.
So we head back to the room, shower and change, head downstairs hail a cab, we hop in, I tell the cabbie “Envy Steakhouse please” He starts pulling away, then stops and asks “Do you guys want the shortest and fastest route?” This question caught the both of us off guard? WHAT? What kind of question is that? No, I want you to long haul my ass! We’ll those were the kind of comments that were going through my head when he asked. I said, yes shortest and fastest route. He then asked if we just came from there, I said yes, he asked if I remembered how much it cost me, I told him less than $10 including tip. I thought he was still going to try to long haul my ass! He said no, that can’t be. I understood his comment as, no it can’t be that cheap. Bryan on the other hand however understood it as; no it can’t be that much. Oh well! In the end the ride came to $8 with tip!
We get in Envy is dark and dead, same as last time. No drinks, no appetizers, no desert, just the main course. We each just order our own individual steaks, the food wasn’t that great. They brought out a side with three different kinds of salt for you to use on your food, little did we know though, that everything else would be full of salt and extremely salty! The steak! The veggies! The mashed potatoes! By the end of the night, even the water started tasting salty. If our waitress had bothered coming back around to ask how everything was, I would have told her the food was too salty, but no, she never came around again.
It’s probably 8:30 by now; it’s still too early for the strip club. Bryan heard many great things regarding Planet Hollywood, I suspected that it had something to do with the deal-ertainers, now that it was night time; it was the perfect time to go. So we get in, head to the Player’s Desk to sign him up for a card, since we visited the other Harrah’s properties and it didn’t seem like they were giving him anything. He got his $5 in slot credit, a coupon book. I quickly flipped through the coupon book, no match plays, and no free souvenirs? Just food coupons? What is this a Harrah’s property? Oh wait, it is. We make our way over to the slot machines to use up the free credit, he plunks himself down in front of a Penny machine, hits the max bet, nothing, hits the max bet again, some stuff happens but we’re not sure what. It looks like the machine froze, nothing is moving, nothing is happening. I tell him to hit the service button and have someone come take a look at it, although there is probably only a dollar left in the machine. Meanwhile, I’m on the machine next to him, I put in my $10 and hit max bet, less than a minute, I’m done my buy in, nothing comes to light.
Shortly after a slot attendant comes by, we tell them that the machine doesn’t seem to be working, they try to enter a code, look up at the upper game screen and go, it’s a touch screen bonus round, you need to pick cards until you match 3 of them. I swear that screen wasn’t available before. So nonetheless, Bryan does as he’s told, he picks 3 of the same, and surprise! He gets 25 free spins. So we stand there, watching the machine spin itself, then when he dwindles down to almost no more free spins, what do you know? He hits it again and gains another 20 or so free spins. Long story short, we sat there for a good 10 minutes watching the machine spin itself, by the end of it all he won about 7,200 credits, which to me on a penny machine is huge, especially when it was off a $5 free slot play promo.
Little did we know that you could just hit the button and the credits would be added to your balance immediately, we just sat there for another good five minutes waiting for the machine to transfer the credits over to the balance. OMG we were gonna be there forever, until I told him to try and hit a button, to see if it’ll skip that whole scene. To our surprise, it worked! So he cashed out with about $75 in pure profit.
We floated around the blackjack area trying to find a spot to play, but they were all full and plus they were 6:5’s we weren’t gonna play that. We both agreed that once again, The Venetian was the place to be, so we headed on back over there. All I remember from here is that I gave them back the $200 I had taken away from them earlier, probably in blackjack. Luckily we went back to the room earlier on in the night and I emptied out my wallet, otherwise, I probably would have sunk in more money trying to chase. I open up my wallet and there’s $40 left. Perfect. Chip change for $40 please, outside. I bet $20 on black, it hits. I try it again, it fails. I try playing the thirds, nothing hits, I try black again, and it fails. Oh well there goes another $40.
Time to head on over to Spearhmint Rhino’s! We head back to the room to grab more money and change; I call them to send over a limo for us. I read that the limo ride is free and will take care of the $40 cover. All you have to do is take care of the driver. Done! So we head on downstairs to the front to meet our driver, he rolls up, it’s an actual limo! Cool. I get to ride in a limo for free? Awesome! It’s a short ride over from the Encore to Rhino’s, we get out, I tip the driver a $20. A male host leads us in, he explains how this works, says that they’re busy tonight, it’s gonna be a long wait for a table, but you know if we take care of him, he can bump us up on this list, if you know what I mean. He wanted $50. So I agreed. Mind you, Bryan has very little strip club experience and has never had a lap dance, so I had to make this right! Five minutes later, we’re in. The host asks us what kind of girls we like, I tell him I prefer blondes, Bryan has no preference, anything that walks really.
So we sit down and 30 seconds later two girls show up out of nowhere. Mine’s a blonde, she sits down, we start talking and she’s saying all the right things, and when I mean she’s saying all the right things, I’m not kidding. It’s not the usual, you’re so cute, I love your hair, I love your watch etc. She asks where I’m from, I say Toronto, she’s says ‘like Drake?’ OMG I love Drake, I’m like me too! So we hit it off and start talking about Drake’s concert last night, and the after party, and how she met Drake, then a flo-rida song comes on, and she goes OMG I hate Flo-Rida. OMG me too! Meanwhile, Bryan’s girl is constantly pestering me about going to the back room with her and Bryan. I’m like WTF? What did he tell her he was interested in? I wasn’t sure if he was serious, or if it was just an excuse to get her off of him. In the end I told his girl that I’d buy him a lap dance, yano, since he never had one and all, and she wanted it inside where there was more ‘privacy’, but I said nope, out here, take it or leave it. So she agreed and performed one out there.
Meanwhile, my girl is trying to get me to go into the back room with her as well, typical prices 3 songs for $100 or 6 songs for $200. I told her that I would take one from her out here, but she said no, I said take it or leave it, and she left! Oh well.
So Bryan’s dance is done, she comes up to me to collect the money, I give it to her, she takes Bryan’s hand and leads him towards the back. I’m thinking wow; he must have really liked it and now wants to go to the back, good for him. Three songs later, he comes back with his belt in his hand and a big FML face on him. I’m like what happened? You got her pregnant? He’s like, no. I just got scammed. WHAT? Apparently, after the three songs, she asked him how he wanted to pay, he was all confused because he thought I paid for the dance outside, ‘cause he saw me hand her the money. He didn’t bring enough money with him for this, so he had to use his credit card. They only sell chips in denominations of $20, the stripper wanted a tip, and also the cashier wanted a tip, the bank wanted a tip as well, but in the form of a charge. So in the end that 3 song set he did cost him a lot of money!
Meanwhile, I’m out here, cycling through girls. I land a blonde that I’m not really feeling, she goes what’s wrong, you like Asians? I say, yeah I do, so okay, not a problem she leaves and next thing you know, we’re being harassed by Asians. They must have a code or a system that alerts them to preferences. I cycle through a few Asians including one who said she was 30, which probably means 35 in real life. Sorry that’s not for me hun. I finally land another blonde, once again, this blonde says all the “right things” she tells me I’m cute, she loves my cologne, loves the shirt that I’m wearing etc. you know, the typical stuff.
She tells me that she’s gonna let me in on a secret, I have a feeling what the secret is going to be. I tell her that I can’t keep secrets, but I’ll try just for her sake J. She tells me that she’s gonna doube it and give me six songs for a hundred as opposed to the three for a hundred just ‘cause she really “likes” me. I’m like sure hunny, that’s just too good to be true, what’s the catch, she says that there is no catch, that I can even leave my wallet with my buddy if I’m worried. What’s going on in my mind right now is not ‘OMG I’m gonna get 6 songs for $100’. It’s ‘I wonder how this scam ends’. So in the end I agree. You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfactory brought it back. I just had to know!
We go in, she tells the bouncer it’s 3 for a hundred. My guess is that the club gets a cut at the end of the night, so they’re always going to tell them it’s a 3 song set. First two songs are alright, third song rolls along and I’m feeling tired. Who knew that by just sitting there one could be so tired. I guess my body got comfortable with the cushioned seat and thought it was a bed? I mean I have been up all day today. Either that or they were playing rock songs and I don’t like rock music. After she finishes the fourth song, she asks me if I want to go for more or if I wanted to stop. I didn’t care that she was only on the 4th song; I guess that was the scam? Or she lost count? I was just so bored/tired I just wanted to GTFO. So I paid her and left.
I come back outside to the seat only to find Bryan talking to a nice looking Asian girl, I thought she was Taiwanese. She was wearing a nice white dress, long black hair and to top it all off, nice braces! Wow! So I sat down at my seat and asked if I was intruding on anything and if they wanted me to leave them alone, the girl was nice enough to say no, she didn’t say yes, I want to do nasty things to your friend. So I ask her for her name, she tells me it’s Tila. I’m thinking Tila Tequila, so I go ‘oh, how original’, she admits it’s just a stage name. Turns out she’s from LA. 90% of them are from LA. Where abouts in LA? K-Town? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, you’re Korean? How rare is that? So I pretend that I don’t know what she’s talking about? K-Town? And give her a stupid look, she’s like you know Korea Town. OH! Just checking!
I had just come out from a dance, and haven’t been hyped up enough yet for another one, and Bryan was still hurting over all the money he paid for those three dances, so neither of us got a dance from her. Turns out that missed opportunity would be the biggest regret both of us endured during this trip.
So we leave the club hop in a taxi and the driver immediately asks us "Asian massage guys?" We're like uh, no thanks, just to the Encore is fine.
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